A doctor and a boy were fishing. The boy was the doctor's son, but the doctor was not the boy's father. Who was the doctor?
His mother.

A frog fell into a well 12 feet deep. He could jump 3 feet, but every time he jumped 3 feet, he fell back 2 feet. How many times did he have to jump to get out of the well?

The tenth jump took him out. (On the tenth jump he reached 13 feet and was out.)
A man had 12 sheep. All but 9 died. How many sheep did he have left?
Nine.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream?
He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
Almost everyone needs it, asks for it, gives it, but almost nobody takes it. What is it?
Advice.
How can you leave a room with two legs and return with six legs?
Bring a chair back with you.
How can you tell the difference between trees?
Listen to their barks.
How did rich people get their money?
They were calm and collected.
How do we know the deer and the antelope are deaf?
Because they never heard a discouraging word.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't get down from an elephant; you get down from a. duck.
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits for the fall.
How long should a person's legs be?
Long enough to reach the ground.
How many legs does a mule have if you call its tail a leg?
Only four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it one.
How many months have 28 days?
All of them.
If 5 cats catch 5 mice in 5 minutes, how long will it take one cat to catch a mouse?
Five minutes.
If you count 20 houses on your right going to school, and 20 houses on your left coming home, how many houses in all have you counted?
Twenty. You counted the same houses going and coming.
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
Name five days of the week without saying: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow.
On the way to a water hole a zebra met 6 giraffes. Each giraffe had 3 monkeys hanging from its neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on its tail. How many animals were going to the water hole?
Only the zebra. All the rest were coming back from the hole.
Some ducks were walking down a path. There was a duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks. How many ducks were there in all?
Three ducks, waddling single file.
Spell extra wise in two letters.
YY (2 y's)
The more there is of it, the less you see it. What is it?
Darkness.
The more you crack it, the more people like you. What is it?
A smile.
There is a secret Christmas message in the following letters. Can you find it? A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k,
m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z.
No L (Noel).
Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.
What animal walks on 4 feet in the morning, 2 at noon, and 3 in the evening?
Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet when he is grown, and uses a cane in old age.
What can be caught and heard but never seen?
A remark.
What can be measured but has no length, width or thickness?
The temperature.
What can you break with only one word?
Silence.
What can you give away and still keep?
A cold.
What can you hold without your hands?
Your breath.
What cannot be seen but only heard, and will not speak unless it is spoken to?
An echo.
What can't you see that is always before you?
The future.
What comes from a tree and fights cavities?
A toothpick.
What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water?
Open your watch: drink from the spring, and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can with people in it.
What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else in the world has had?
Parents.
What doesn't exist but has a name?
Nothing.
What dress does everyone have but no one wears?
Address.
What flies when it's on and floats when it's off?
A feather.
What gets harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
What grows larger the more you take away?
A hole.
What has 2 arms, 2 wings, 2 tails, 3 heads, 3 bodies and 8 legs?
A man on a horse holding a chicken.
What has 6 legs, but walks with only 4?
A horse with a rider.
What has a big mouth but can't talk?
A jar.
What has cities with no houses, rivers without water, and forests without trees?
A map.
What has no beginning or end and nothing in the middle?
A doughnut.
What is always coming but never arrives?
Tomorrow.
What is black when you buy it, red as you use it, and grey when you throw it out?
Coal.
What is boiled then cooled, sweetened then soured?
Iced tea with lemon.
What is brought to the table and cut, but never eaten?
A deck of cards.
What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
What is filled every morning and emptied every night, except once a year when it is filled at night and emptied in the morning?
A stocking.
What is heavier in warm weather than in winter?
Traffic to the beach.
What is it that you can take away the whole and still have some left?
The word "wholesome."
What is neither inside a house nor outside a house, but no house would be complete without it?
A window.
What is pronounced like one letter, written with three letters, and belongs to all animals?
Eye.
What is the beginning of eternity, The end of time and space; The beginning of every end, And the end of every race?
The letter E.
What is the best way to clean up a dirty mind?
Think a litter bit less.
What is the difference between a dog and a gossip?
One has a wagging tail, the other a wagging tongue.
What is the difference between the rising and the setting sun?
A day.
What is the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
They boo-ckle up.
What is very light but can't be lifted?
A bubble.
What kind of tea helps you feel brave?
Safety.
What overpowers you-without hurting you?
Sleep.
What question can you never answer "yes" to?
"Are you asleep?"
What relation is a loaf of bread to a locomotive?
Mother. Bread is a necessity, a locomotive is an invention, and "Necessity is the mother of invention."
What rises up in the morning and waves all day?
A flag.
What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?
Alone.
What word can you pronounce quicker by adding a syllable to it?
Quick.
When is it correct to say, "I is?"
"I is the letter after H. "
When is it good to lose your temper?
When you have a bad one.
When is longhand quicker than shorthand?
On a clock.
When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
When it isn't made up yet.
When the dog lover put his fingers in the dog's mouth to see how many teeth it had, what did the dog do?
The dog closed its mouth to see how many fingers the dog lover had.
Where does satisfaction come from?
From a satisfactory.
Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing?
MT (empty) .
Who invented the first aeroplane that didn't fly?
The Wrong Brothers.
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes?
The weatherman.
Why didn't the skeleton kid want to go to school?
Because his heart wasn't in it.
Why do dogs scratch themselves?
Because they are the only ones who know where it itches.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the children have to play inside.
Why do we say "amen" and not "awomen?"
Because we sing "hymns," not "hers."
Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Why does a dog wag his tail?
Because no one else will wag it for him.
Why is a poor friend better than a rich one?
Because a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Why is it interesting to study mummies?
Because you can get so wrapped up in them.
Why is the world like a faulty jigsaw puzzle?
Because a peace (piece) is missing.
With what vegetable do you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
Corn on the cob.
Would you rather an elephant attacked you or a gorilla?
I'd rather he attacked the gorilla.